I am Robert and it has been almost 4 years since I started to blog. Lately I have been feeling i am missing whatever form of personal expiration I need top feel comfortable like I used to. The best time in my life was when I was confident I had friends and they cared about with without having to prove myself any further. I miss this. I feel I am losing friends and my drive to be a student.
This year I experienced working a job for the first time. I have been making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at this small shoppe I learned about from a friend of a friend who hates me (its okay, im not fond of him either and he is a terrible influence on that friend, but i will probably get around to that later). I really enjoy this job though the wage is shit, $8 an hour with no tips unless I am lucky enough to get a delivery (only has occurred once). I only work twice a week on fridays and sundays, which may be a reason why i have not been able to be there for one of friends when she went through a crisis, but thats a different tangent. My job is a lot of cleaning when i am not preparing carrots, celery, bacon, or peanut butter. My co-workers are great. My main manager i barely interact with, but i know he is a hardass. The manager that actually manages me is a cool Asian guy that enjoys his anime, manga, and gaming. I dont really have much to talk to him about except for gaming, but he definitely likes me as a person, which is good. My other co-worker is an ex-NYU student who is a fellow stoner and I can see becoming friends with him. He works the front of the shop while I work the back.
Over the past month smoking at my work has become routine. I had heard stories fo my co-workers smoking after they closed shop (this was not a surprise since one manager will routinely go to the bar across the street and drink after work and stop by all the time. One night that manager was in charge of my co-worker and I, he brought back this really interesting, incredibly drunk Irishman who had some family issues, I could discuss in a later post, when we closed up. That night we smoked two blunts, my first time smoking at work. Now, every few times I work it will end in smoking a blunt then finishing cleaning up and going home or there will be a small crowd from that same manager and we will smoke a bunch. Last weekend I visited my co-workers on a night when I was not working with my bong and we got quite high, so I think smoking at work will be even more routine, as long as I bring some weed with me in case of such an occurrence.
I have also been working as a teacher of phones and computers for older persons. That job is way more lucrative, but as lot less stable. I had a good few weeks in October where i was consistently doing work in this field, but lately it has dried up for unknown reasons. This has been a cause of a little stress since I would really enjoy having a more regular schedule with my students on this because lately i have felt like i am a bad teacher since it almost seems like they have moved on. I may just be terrible at that, but I did not feel that way.
I dont really now where I am going with this, but I think it is time for me to at least revive this blog because I miss having a near private outlet for my emotions. All my friends that know me have started to add me on Twitter and I dont feel like I can tweet as I used to. I also the tumblr unless I am fapping, so i am turning back to my haven during high school. I dont know is I will be posting often or in perfect English for that matter, but its around time I start putting my emotions and thoughts “on paper” so here I start again.