Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Well okay yeah nothing has really happened with my sister, she still likes me more and we are getting along better and everything. So yeah that is good ahhaha.
While checking my blog I decided to look at what day my first blog post was because of a comment Billy made. Well I guess I am happy to report, tomorrow will be the 6 month anniversary of my blog! I do not know how I was able to blog everyday from February 16th till June 29th, but I did. In that time I came out to Kathryn, Bri (because Kathryn used her to figure me out lol), A, Rosie (my sister), and Nick (this week because I was hanging with A and he is great friends with A and I just decided to blurt it out, actually I do have something to say about that...later though). My life has been so different since I found blogs over a year ago and started my blog around 6 months ago and I do not regret it.
Okay now I have to decide whether to tell the Nick story or the Twitter story. Eehh lets go chronologically.
So Wednesday I was hanging with A and Nick at Starbucks. We were outside and there was a lull in the conversation and I decided to use it to just say, “So Nick you know I am gay, right?”
Nick responds, “Yeah, Robert, I do. And I saw your blog on this guy’s computer.” I start to think, FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!! WHERE DID HE SEE MY BLOG???!?!?!??!
So I ask him, “Where did you see my blog?” I was trying not to sound worried, but I was freaking out.
So what happened is, Nick was hanging with A and a gay friend of A’s from All-State for band, Justin. Justin knows me….well not really KNOWS me….but he knows be because I “connected” with him on the GYC. I think Justin looked through my profile and decided to open the link at the bottom to my blog. I then think that Nick and A came over to hang or something and, since Justin had my blog open on his computer, Nick saw it. I think he looked through it and read my profile and thought, “OH I know this guy!”
So yeah I do not know if those are the facts, but the next time I get him alone I am going to ask. But yeah, Justin, if you do read my blog, then I guess I should say thanks a bit because I mean it did make coming out to Nick just that little bit easier….well that and A telling him ahahha.
Now it is time to make all of those crazy ass tweets I have been tweeting make sense!
So Friday I was on some chat rooms because I was bored. I was looking for guys in CA to talk to. So this one guy says he is 17 and from CA, so I decide to private him. I ask where he lives and he says the Bay Area. I say me too, and where from. He tells me where, and I decide to Google it. He is ONE hour away! I get really excited and tell him that. He becomes interested and we decide to chat on MSN.
So we chat on MSN and the first thing I see is his profile picture…I DIE!!! I mean, you know the pictures of the guys I put on here, well let’s just say eh is one of them!!!! So I tell him that. He totally denies that and asks for a picture of me. I send him my new profile picture and he says, “dammmm ur a cutie”. So we then just start talking and we do a really long Q&A and I start it develop on crush on him. And I mean I think he might have one on me IDK. So we just talked and got to know each other, and I mean apparently he is a nerd, loves to read, we have similar interest in music, he is so cute, he is nice, he is romantic, and best of all he is weird! I mean I have no idea why he even thinks I am cute, but I don’t really care. So at 10:05 my parents get home and I decide to greet them. I say “BRB parents.”
I go downstairs and talk to them for 5 minutes, and then I come back upstairs and see he is offline. I start to get really sad because I now think he is uninterested and it just kills me. I mean he seemed really into me and I just mope around and decide to just go to sleep.
I wake up 3 times that night. Each time I check my computer to see if eh is on or said sorry or something. I then just figure eh blocked me and it is over. I am sad all the next day, but I still cannot get him out of my head. I check MSN constantly, but I do decide to try and get some work done. At 5, he comes on. I become really happy just to see he did not block me! I decide not to IM him unless he IMs me first. A few seconds later L IMs and saying, “heyyyyyyyyyy sowwy about last nite we lost everything tv internet so lame” That just made, we talked for an hour and I really do hope we meet soon.
Okay I am going to stop here, I actually need to try and do stuff today. Well okay bye.
Life Putters and Wanders,
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Now I should say that I have some good news, some great news, and some news I REALLY want to talk about but A (the guy I met with) is not going to let me tell you all!
So let me tell you what happened on Wednesday. So the night before I got to talk to Kathryn for a bit and she told me that she could meet at Starbucks from anytime from 1-7. I figured that that sometime in that time frame would be the best time to meet A there and then hang with Kathryn after. So on Wednesday I finally AIMed A (after being called by Kathryn twice, once RIGTH before a recording I was a part of lol) So we decided to meet at 3:15 and I pick him up and he hang at Starbucks. So I leave a little late, but I go and pick him up and I really have to say he is cute and well you can also tell he is gay from his fashion sense, though really it was only obvious because he put his sunglasses on the color of his shirt and that just said, “GAY!” to me.
But yeah so we go to Starbucks and we both just get water lol. Kathryn saw us and just was Kathryn lol. So we decided to go outside for more privacy and we talk for like 3 minutes when Kathryn come over and just asks the worst questions in the worst way to A. It was kind of really funny lol, but also EXTREMLY awkward, especially for A. She eventually left and we got to talking. He did a lot and we just talked. It was nice, I mean I really got to know him (I already knew him because he was my first friend here when I moved to where I am now from San José, but we stopped talking so much in 6ht and 7th grade). One thing that was interesting is that he really had no idea I would be gay, but I suspected him for quite a while, so I was not so surprised lol. We also talked about what we have done; he has done so much more than me at a WAY faster pace than me! I have literally done nothing, I mean never kissed, or even held hands in a crushy-loving way. To tell the truth I am a little jealous, but the thing is I don’t think he has really had any truly special relationships, though I mean I have no idea if I will have one, but still.
That is pretty much it with A since I cannot day what happened later because I want to be my friend, but trust me it is nothing special and nothing happened.
Now on to my other news. So on Thursday, while taking a shower before my internship, I decided I will come out to my sister. I never got a good chance to do it on Thursday, but I did get my chance on Friday. I had an SAT/College/School meeting. I had to have my sister drive me there and also pick me up. I wondered which way I should tell my sister and figured the way back will be easier. So she drops me off in not the best mood so I figure I am probably not going to do it. I go in talk to my person and learn my SAT Diagnostic score; an 1800, I need a 2000 or higher to be competitive for NYU. So I am actually motivated to do the stuff to get better now ahhaha.
We ended early so I texted my sister and she came. As she was driving I mentioned that I had to go to drop off some football stuff at the team mom’s house. SO she started driving there. She then mentioned something that made me think I could actually use that as segue to coming out. So I said, “Speaking of that, I am gay.” She said, “Repeat that?” So I did. She only replied “SERIOUSLY?!?!?” around 3 times, and I said yes each time. She was ecstatic. She asked me some of the usual questions which I easily answered. I then dropped the FB stuff at the house and got back in the car.
From there my sister asked me who she could tell. I said yes to her friend that is practically an adopted sister to me. I also said yes to these two sisters that love me (the older sister that knows me better like screams “BOBERT!!!!” and runs to hug me whenever she sees me) and also have a gay brother I had no ideas they had. I also said yes to girl she s friends with who lives near us. I also said yes to this girl who is awesome and is a model, manager of two bands on Warped Tour, and only 19 or 20 so yeah I was like sure. But one stipulation with the last one is that a friend of my sis’s who I like a lot, but has a brother that helps coach football for the JV, so I am VERY animate that she has to keep it on the down-low or just not tell here and the other friend, though I know it would be awesome if they knew lol.
So we then went back home and she went and told her friends while I started watching Hard Candy. I love the movie so much! You have to see it! It is about Ellen Page who plays a girl who seduces a photographer online. The guy is a pedophile and she knows it. They go back to his place and then shit just happens. It is so well written, the cinematography is amazing, and the lighting just changes the whole tone! You have to see it!
When my sister was done talking to the people she comes and tells me that the two sisters want me to meet their brother sometime. I go cool, can I see a pic of him (I know pervy but hey I am interested lol). So my sister goes on FB and shows me his profile picture. He is so cute!!!!! Like seriously, and like I really want to meet him now. And if he is as nice as his sisters then I think he would be an awesome friend to have!
Okay there is more I could talk about but I really do not have the time and I need to get ready to go to my sister’s birthday dinner because she is home and not going to come back when her real birthday is, so yeah, I am going to go and get ready.
Life Putters and Wanders,